Summer 2025 Book Club: The Art of Gathering

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Book Review by Rachel Herlein, Ed.D, Associate Head of School, ​​Laurel School & Association for Academic Leaders’ Advisory Council Member

Gather With Purpose: What The Art of Gathering Offers Independent School Leaders

I’ve had Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters on my radar since it was first published eight years ago. When a colleague recommended I read it, I thought, “Gathering people is my strong suit! I work hard crafting meaningful learning experiences for teachers. Is all that effort not paying off?” Thankfully, my growth mindset kicked in—and I read Parker’s book cover to cover.

Gathering people is central to life as a school leader. We hold staff meetings, student assemblies, parent events, leadership retreats, and countless small-group work sessions. Years after reading her book, three of Parker’s principles still guide how I design those gatherings.

Be Clear About Your “Why”

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is assuming the purpose of a gathering is obvious. Before any meeting, define your hoped-for outcomes—and ensure participants share that understanding. This turns a “default gathering” into an intentional one. A faculty meeting becomes a space for problem-solving rather than updates. Back-to-School Night shifts from book lists to a chance to communicate mission, vision, and partnership. A leadership meeting moves from reporting out to advancing the strategic plan.

Open Strong and Close Intentionally

Parker writes, “The opening and closing are your bookends. They help your guests cross the threshold into a different world — and then back out again.” How you begin and end determines how meaningful a gathering feels. The book cautions against starting with logistics. People arrive leaning in, curious about what’s to come—and we squander that energy if we lead with reminders about next week's Spirit Day.

At Laurel, we like to start with a “circle-up” or “check-in.” Sometimes silly, sometimes thought-provoking, it’s a call to engage. At your next assembly, try a poem or a provocative question. End your leadership meeting with a positive quote from the parent survey. Close a professional learning session with a written reflection. Don’t skip this, make a plan for your opening and closing every time, in a way that feels authentic to you and your community.

Foster Genuine Connection

Good gatherings connect people to each other, not just to content. Leaders often prioritize efficiency, but intentional social design can have a lasting impact. I like to create cross-divisional, interdisciplinary teams of faculty. Meeting monthly throughout the year, these groups engage in all-school professional learning, set professional goals, process an article or video, or reflect on their teaching practices. At parent nights or assemblies, build in pairing and sharing, storytelling, or brief interactive moments. When participants walk away having deepened connections to each other, increased trust and engagement result.

Schools are gathering spaces by design. Let’s get it right. As Parker reminds us, even small changes can yield big results. Try one of these principles at your next event—and see what shifts. Share the outcomes in our discussion forum and see what others have discovered too!